These are the basic guidelines to follow on your way to becoming the master of your destiny.
Basic Rules
1. You are not stupid. If anyone ever says you are stupid, they are just in denial of your lack of stupidity. As long as you refuse to believe you are stupid, you will not be stupid. Blind ignorance is the key.
2. Whenever you can, rely on the abilities of others. That way, if any errors ever surface, you can blame them on others and still remain relatively blame free. Reliance is the key.
3. Use long words whenever possible. If you've ever listened to smart people talk, their speeches are usually long and difficult to follow. Do not worry, this is not because you are too idiotic, this is because they tend to make up long words to make everyone else feel unworthy for not ever hearing those words before. You can do it too.
Examples include:
- Complexity
- Ambiguous
- Incendiary
- Trepidation
- Madagascar
These are some long words that probably didn't even exist until some smart person made them up. The important thing is that you use these words in such a way that your use of them is unquestioned. Knowing their definitons is not important. Complexity is the key.
4. Put the actual work off as long as possible. When you are presented with a task and a deadline, be sure to hold off finishing, and even starting, the job until the deadline is drawing near. Beginning too early will lead to people into thinking you are so inept that you need as much time as you can get to work on it. Finishing too soon will result in people believing that you require more work for you to reach your full potential, and more work means more chances to mess up. If you find yourself indecisive about when to start the actual work, write a pro/con T-chart and weigh your options. Procrastination is the key.
5. Do not get your arm caught in anything mechanical. This can have a negative effect on people thinking you're smart. Not getting your arm caught in anything mechanical is the key.
6. Develop a strong opinion on every major issue. Politics, war, the economy, breakfast, you should agree to only one side. Make sure it is at one of the extremes, because if you're too moderate people will attempt to sway you towards the other end, and getting into an actual discussion may prove confusing. If you're hard set to an opinion, even if it's totally wrong, people will believe you were brought up by a nun or something, and they will leave you alone. Strong opinion is the key.
7. If you have a car and a license, always drive fast. That way people will know that you have somewhere important to go and something urgent to do, and they will respect you for having such assertiveness despite what the laws may dictate. Wreckless driving is the key.
8. Show off the modern technology that you have whenever posible. Cell phones, laptops, those shoes that inflate when you pump them up. If it has a computer chip, flaunt it. If the product name seems too boring, add suffixes like "XXX" or "Pro." You can even go so far as to use "Super Heavy Duty Pro to the MaXXX." Technology is the key.
9. Insult the intelligence of others on a regular basis. The second best thing to making yourself look smarter is to make everyone else look stupid. When their self-esteems are low due to the poor impression of their intelligence that you gave them, they won't even remember to question how smart you are. If they make threats to kill themselves, that only helps you more, because dead people are also pretty stupid. It doesn't help if they kill you though. Insulting others while remaining alive is the key.
10. Cheat on everything you do, in creative ways. Homework, exams, taxes, but make sure it's original and clever. That way it'll be difficult to catch you and you can brag about how ingenius you are. Like writing the answers on your hand in Spanish, or keeping a copy of the answer key underneath your tongue. Make sure you put a lot of effort into how you cheat. Why, it's so simple, the only thing easier is to study. Cheating is the key.
IQ = 140